Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The world has carried on nicely without me.

Life is happening and that is beautiful. I do not yet know what this section of living means, but I hope to discover it soon. I think that is the secret to transitioning well from one season to another. Find the meaning, the change in the meaning. Or, at least acknowledge that what it meant to be alive then is not the same as what it means to be alive and living today much less tomorrow.

I think that is what makes change so difficult. Sometimes we don't know what the new meaning of life is or perhaps we can't quite identify what we are losing when the old meaning passes. There are certain seasons in which I liked the meaning more than others. And yet, I find that some of my favorite seasons were ones that, for better or worse, I was totally wrong about the meaning of life and I only thought I knew.

It is hard to have the meaning of living change for people close to you, especially when you used to share that meaning. I find this rubbing on me today. There are things that I cannot see, but which I still seem to touch and almost to hear, pricking me and whispering about something unknown which has been lost. But at least now I know that something has been lost.

I think that some of my new meaning is healing and rest. But it is a strange sort of healing and rest because it happens in the midst of the working and the running parts of living. Yet, it still happens. I have been asking for this season for such a long time, I hope it stays for awhile so I can be ready when the meaning changes again.


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