Death is everywhere today. It’s the anniversary of a good friend's brother's early death. It’s the Wednesday before the memorial for my husband’s paternal grandmother. The Wednesday after the memorial for his maternal grandmother. We are in the middle, the thick of it, as they say. All this year, people have been leaving, dying, just a couple of degrees away from me. But it’s never actually me losing them. So I don’t know how to grieve.

There’s nothing lost, but something is missing from all of my favorite people. The ghost of grief hovers in my peripheral whispering things that I can’t actually hear. And I don’t mean to make this about me. I only mean to say I’m sad with all of you, but I also feel like I don’t have the right. So I’m sorry if I say the wrong thing or say nothing at all.