New plan:

It is a rabbit hole of discovery,
Finding out that you are different
And that it is not your own rebellious choice.

It feels like whatever authority you were fighting
Finally won and got you in a place you cannot guard
And cannot win back.

You played for keeps
And then you lost.
Lost your independence.

Lost your right to define yourself.
Lost something you do not even know how to grieve
If you are allowed to.

Lost.

And hope must be built on so much more
Than just getting better or by
Because you will not be doing either.

Hope must weigh down your very feet
To help stave off the feeling
Of just fading away.

You will need both hands to hold reality
Both feet to stand on such shifting grounds
And all of your voice to yell Truth

Lest you forget and lose all.

You will need neither eye
For both are blind
In such deep shadows.

Neither will you need your ears
Or else they may take in
Too many heavy lies.

You have enough Truth
If you do not surrender.
So bind them up!

Stop your ears
And clamp your eyes
So tight

That they shut out not only light
But shadows and deep night too.
Do not be distracted by lies and myths and lore

Even as you discover new things inside yourself.
Like how far you can be pushed
Before you finally push back

And what you do when you find yourself
Fallen
Into a rock rabbit hole

And up
Is the only direction
you can see.

But you have to
let go
of who you think you are

--who you thought
You would be
And who you wanted to be--

If you ever
Expect to get
Out.

That, and you can never
Hold those descriptors again
Without climbing [falling] back in.

Learn and be taught

But leave it behind.

This is not a place for living.

I believe I like it better this way. It feels less forced...yes.