Getting married taught me gratitude in a deep way. Everyone told me the rules and expectations of writing Thank Yous at the end. But the way they told me about it made me think that I would not enjoy it. I have been surprised to find how much having a wedding taught me about expressing gratitude. I found that I enjoyed writing the cards. I found that I wished it was always socially acceptable to express thanks. I felt so overwhelmed by the help we received in trying to accomplish a wedding that I could not possibly say, "Thank you" enough. I wanted to write cards to people just for attending. I didn't though. I could not afford that many cards.
Since September, I have found myself often returning to that feeling of gratitude. See the people that I am most appreciative of do not even seem to be aware of *how much* they lightened my load. There were a half dozen or so people who played small roles who strutted about with significance and over-graciously accepted my thanks. I do not still feel indebted with love to them. There are at least a dozen or more people who gave, who met needs, and who love me so well; but I do not think they were as aware of the giving as I was of the receiving.
At bottom, I learned how to attend at wedding by having a wedding. I learned that I had been neutral at best and very near a burden at worst with a few admirable suggestions. At top, I watched people love me so well. And I learned how to say thank you in dozens of different ways.