The message that I've been getting is that I ask for too much at all the wrong times. The question has become -or maybe always was- whether I can make do without some of the things I need like communication, openness, and honesty. While I know that no amount of love can make someone heal for you, it would mean so much if they tried.

There are friends though who have become family. They are the ones who were able to meet me halfway saying "I'll try if you try." And again, "I promise not to bring any weapon home but the truth." Without these, I would be estranged from humanity.