I am not well.

And that means that I have lied to a lot of people this week. Or maybe just few. Truthfully, I'm not keeping track. Truthfully, I can't go into the specifics with everyone who asks. And it isn't fair to ask without investment. But I digress.

It's not like I know what kind of unwell I am anyway. I just don't feel like myself, don't know if I can access all of the parts of my brain, and don't know when it got so difficult to be in my skin. But it is hard to be in my skin. My thoughts and my bones running up against limitations.

All of my internal resources seem much more finite than I remember. Creativity, emotions, energy, focus, problem solving, resiliency. And I know that I haven't suffered much so I don't know where these limitations have come from.