If the opposite of love is actually indifference, what is the opposite of hate? Maybe it's also indifference. I like that. I like thinking that indifference is preferable to hate instead of thinking of indifference as "worse than hate" compared to love. But maybe the equation is actually like this: love is the opposite of selfish-ness and hate is the opposite of enabling your bullshit. I love you like I love the stranger on the street which is to say impersonally and by discipline.
You couldn't possibly realize how dangerous you were. When I tried to love you, I began to mistrust myself. Deep and dark were the lacerations you left. When I tried to hate you, I could no longer move forward paralyzed as I was with the immensity of you and your influence. It's only this numb indifference that I find myself unlearning all the unhelpful things you taught me. You exist. Like the stranger on the street except you're the stranger in the home I grew up in.
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