God is Love they say
But I have felt love at their hands. 
I have heard love fall from their lips. 

It twisted and turned. 
It slid right off of me when they looked away.
And none of it was strong enough to save me. 

It turns out that a lot of what I had learned about love
Was how to be quiet enough, flexible enough,
how to be small enough to be convenient.

Because the most important thing about Christian love
Is how it makes the giver feel. 

And they will redefine every word in the dictionary 
Before they make room for my sharp edges,
My burnt and frayed ends that hang like question marks.

I have always known the exact details of how I am
not quite what people want me to be. And that
I am not trying to be who they want. 

I think that last part offends them the most.
But I come by it as honestly as a person can. 
That is to say, I struggled to meet the expectations for as long as I could. 

But you can only tread water for so long.

All any of us can do is try to love others
the way we would like to be loved
until they tell us what love means to them.

That is where I find God these days.
In the people brave enough to say, 
"I want to love you better. Show me how." 
And, of course, among those who say, 
"I would like to be loved better, can I teach you?"

The trust it takes to ask for something different is the holiest thing I've ever known.