is this then reality twice removed?

Today in my tai chi class we practiced self-visualization. That is to say, the mental manipulation of our present realities, at least, in its simplest form. I was raised in this thought. I grew up with the foundation that if I wanted something to be true, I needed to act like it was already true.
This is a double edged sword I have struggled to balance all of my life.
I know this idea has truth because of my own experience with psychosomatic pain and illness. There is a point, where you are your own self-fulfilling prophecy. You cannot be healthy if you do not actually want to be healthy, actively and truly. If you would rather get out of this or that engagement or responsibility, your mind will sacrifice your health because you would rather be free of that responsibility than you want to be healthy.
However, I have also run headlong into the limits of any self-visualization (which is, essentially, the discipline of will power) and found myself struggling against the arm of God. All of my imaginative will and determination cannot conquer Him, but how I have tried!
And so I am left trying to figure out the confines of reality and the flexibility thereof. Mostly because, if I could, I would will myself out of sickness today. I do not seem to be able to do that today. Maybe my will power is broken... and maybe I should just take a nap.